Friday, April 25, 2014
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Out & About • Patrick Lacombe | Aggies versus Tigers

Well now, it seems I’m in a pickle about this game. Exactly for whom should I root? On one hand, I now live in the great state of Texas, and have adopted A&M as my favorite college team, but on the other, how can I go against my old favorite and home state team, LSU?
Both teams need this win. A&M needs it to possibly advance to a BCS bowl game, and LSU needs it so Les Miles can have his fourth straight 10-win season. I have decided to do a scientific study and then place my permanent support behind the team that comes out best. May the best team win! I hope not to offend anyone with these results, but if I do, please accept my deepest heartfelt apologies.


    Why don’t Aggies dial 9-11?…They can’t find the eleven on the phone!...Why don’t they serve ice in drinks at LSU?….The guy who had the recipe graduated! Boo-Yah, score 1 for the Aggies!... Did you hear about the Aggie who won a gold medal in the Olympics?…He liked it so much he had it bronzed!...Why do LSU grads keep their diplomas on the dashboard?…So they can park in handicapped zones! Bah Da Boom, 2-0 Aggies!...How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?…Two, one to eat and one to watch for cars!...Why do LSU grads like smart women?…Opposites attract! Bang, one for LSU!...How do you sink a submarine manned by Aggies?…Have a diver knock on the hatch!...Did you hear about the power outage at the LSU library?…Thirty students were trapped on the escalator!...Pow, 3-1 Aggies!...Did you hear about the Longhorn student that transferred to A&M?…He raised the IQ of both schools!...What does the average LSU student get on his SAT?…Drool! Oops, 3-2 Tigers!...A lucky Aggie won the Texas lottery. When he went to collect his money they told him he couldn’t get it in one lump sum, it had to be spread out over 20 years.He got angry and said, “In that case, give me my dollar back!”…How many LSU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?…None, it’s a sophomore course!...Oh no, 3-3 tied game!...There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some UT students told them that it was impossible and the probe would burn up long before it reached the sun. The Aggies said it was okay because they planned to send it at night!...If you spot a car with an LSU receiver, linebacker, and defensive back riding in the back seat, who is driving the car?…The cop!...Yay, 4-3 Aggies!...Why don’t Aggies eat M&M’s?…They’re too hard to peel!...What did the LSU grad say to the A&M grad upon meeting?…Hi, welcome to  McDonald’s!...Tied again!...Did you hear about the Aggie who broke his leg raking leaves?…He fell out of the tree! ...I think it’s a shame the way Texans pick on LSU. After all, it was a Tiger that invented the toilet seat. Of course an Aggie stole the design and cut a hole in the middle!...5-3 Aggies!...Did you hear about the Aggie that read an article stating that 90 percent of accidents occur within five miles of home?…He moved!...How do you get an LSU graduate off your porch?…You pay for the pizza!...Aggies win 6-3!
Well, that’s it for this week. Who would have thought that science could be such fun? God bless y’all and GO AGGIES!